Author: Ian

Some Sweeping generalizations

The MBA is the most useless degree on the planet. You don’t learn any actual skills — instead you learn how to parrot the sayings and actions of the various case studies you read. You learn how to create really complicated spreadsheets based on bullshit numbers. You learn how to pretend, exaggerate, and manipulate.

You learn that there’s no such thing as people. They are “resources”. Your engineers aren’t Jane, Paul, and Steve the intern. They are $20K/month, $15K/month, and $8K/month. More accurately, they are entries in a spreadsheet.

MBAs view the world via pattern-matching. They look for superficially familiar things, then confidently engage as though they understand the deepest truths about them. They ignore the damage their engagement causes. Or maybe they don’t even notice it as they “juice the numbers” to improve the dollar value in the bottom right cell of their excel tab.

They love to talk, to dig deep, to “get into it”. The have a story to match everyone else’s. They know a bit about everything and if they don’t, they’ll make something up. They don’t do actual work — but they do love meetings. They will “SWOT” away criticism of their methods by doubling down on “OKRs” to maximize “ARR” and achieve “organic growth”.

The cash-colored glasses they hand newly minted MBAs with their degree aren’t meant to help them see opportunity. They are meant to distract and obscure their view of the destruction they leave behind.

Smart people are common. It may come as a surprise, but it’s only because we usually think of intelligence as something you are or are not. Instead, consider someone being smart as a single action. A smart action. Not a smart person.

This means anyone can be smart at any time. The opposite is also true. Anyone can be a total fucking idiot at any time. Why is this useful to think about? It lets you stop worrying about being smart or looking smart or sounding smart. You aren’t smart or dumb. Only your actions are.

Also keep in mind that “smart” is a label applied by a person. Most people think getting vaccinated is smart. Some think it is not. Drop your concern of “being smart”. It’s a damaging distraction. Instead, take action and judge your results.

Every time I spend money online, I get an email five minutes later asking for feedback. Sometimes, it’s a simple “click the emoji: 🙂 or 🙁”. Other times, it’s a 10 minute questionnaire.

It’s fun to buy something and then get asked to do actual work for the place you made the purchase from. Bought a pack of gum from CVS? Prepare to tell them how then can “do better”. Ordered a t-shirt online? You’ll be asked repeatedly to rate it and write a review.

It’s almost as if the people who set up those automated “please pat me on the head and tell me I’m awesome” emails don’t respect the person receiving them. Why would I spend brain cycles trying to come up with ways to make your business better?

Fuck your survey.